the U.S.: Eat, Pray, Love, and Eat Some More...

Whether you remember Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India, and Indonesia - or maybe, like me, you remember the movie staring Julia Roberts - there really is something magical about eating, praying, and loving your way through different experiences across the world. Ironically, that's kind of been my own mantra through traversing more countries and cities than I can even count.

So, naturally, during this summer of self-discovery, reflection, and re-calibration, I had to engage all of my senses in something unique. And despite my love for trekking across the globe, I was surprised that some of my most meaningful adventures happened right around home...

Destination: Michigan 
After a long and somewhat discouraging semester, I started my journey of self-discovery (and frankly, a real holiday) with a trip to my home state of Michigan.

What better way to start my journey First Class style....

...where they fed me real food too! 

Destination: Virginia

After only a few days home, I took a mini-trip to Charlottesville and Richmond, Virginia to focus on expressing love to members of my incredible family, starting with a trip to my little cousin's graduation. During the trip, I discovered (and re-disovered) several things including ...

A history lesson through stumbling upon the school where the "Charlottesville 12" were the first black students to enroll in an all-white school following the legal provisions for integration;

My long neglected interest in beer tasting, as I tried a flight of four locally brewed beverages;

A little bluegrass music, some whiskey from an extensive collection...

A wall of whiskey!

...and a good ol' Southern fish fry.

Fried local trout with asparagus

My mom's order of southern fried chicken

I indulged my sweet tooth, tasting a range of truffles from a beloved Richmond chocolate house.

And, of course, I got to spend some quality time with just my mom.

Destination: Michigan 

My next stop was to head back to Michigan to engage in the "eat" part of my journey. I felt inspired to eat more healthily, and more mindfully, and wanted to experiment with food in a way I don't have time to in everyday Boston life. 

I whipped up unique plates and salad bowls daily, like this kale, sweet potato, and couscous salad with roasted yellow peppers, asparagus, and organic tomatoes...

Or this organic greens and berry salad topped with homemade smoked whitefish cakes and roasted cinnamon and cayenne plantains...

Or my little party-platter-for-one with salsa and egg salad, complete with a good glass of wine.

And I enjoyed cooking family dinner most nights, putting a healthy twist onto some of our family favorites.

Meatloaf with garlic roasted baby red tomatoes, baby carrots, and kale

I laughed more than I have in a long time and got to hang out with my parents, just like old times.

And, of course, I found my way to little gems of restaurants I never knew existed, enjoying every bite of the different spots Michigan has to offer. 

I love food but couldn't even finish half of philly steak and egg plate! 

Destination: Southern Michigan

My love for family took me down to the southern part of the state, where I watched my youngest brother jam away on percussion in the 2015 Blue Lake Southern Wind's first stop on their international tour. 

I had actually forgotten how much I love classical musical - I played the French horn and piano years ago - and I found myself smiling and humming along. 

Destination: Grand Rapids, Michigan

To break up the monotony of staying in my hometown a little, I took a few other trips out of the city. One stop along the way: Grand Rapids, Michigan: home to several microbreweries and voted as "Best Beer Town."

In my willingness to "go with the flow," I found my way to my first-ever comic convention (yes, seriously).   

Despite the judgement I came in with, and poor logistics on the part of the expo, I learned a lot through the convention and found myself enjoying the event. We listened to a Ferris State University alumnus talk about his experience achieving his dream of working in the comic industry for the world-renowned Marvel Comics company. I learned that comic books are developed by a team of writers, sketch artists, color experts, and the works. 

We learned about an interesting initiative called The 100 Tables Project, where students in Zeeland Public Schools volunteer time to make comic-inspired tables, learn about running a business and marketing, and then sell the products to raise money for local families in need. 

And - for those who know anything about conventions - I wasn't wearing a costume but promise that a picture of me with the Ghostbusters crew I discovered is coming soon...

I can't say that I'll be back at GRASP next year but I did try something completely new. 

Destination: the Tastes of Thailand 

As I realized my time home was coming to a close, I wanted to do something special that had been on my "bucket list," so to speak. Since I couldn't make it over to the Thailand, I brought the flavors of the country over to me.

One of my favorite comfort foods is Pad Thai, and I decided the time was right to prepare it from scratch, on my own.

I started with chopped garlic and scallions, two of several ingredients I'd purchased specially for this beloved (American) Thai dish.

I used the traditional method of cooking the noodles through soaking them in warm water. But since I've never followed a recipe from start to finish, I had to put my signature on the dish by adding a few special ingredients. 

I scrambled the egg on the side of the pan, and added some garlic shrimp into the dish. 

I mixed ingredients to make the perfect sweet, tangy homemade Pad Thai sauce, added a lime...

...and voila! Pad Thai, as it really should be, is served.

Destination: Boston 

What felt, to me, like going around the world eventually had to come to close, and so I headed back to the grind of life in Boston. But I took my renewed passion for food, spiritual in-the-moment awakening, and love for the really special people and moments in my life back with me! 

Whether going to see the Newsies musical with a friend from college...

...Or having a familiar face from Burundi to spend hours with chatting over charcuterie boards and fine French cuisine in Boston....

This man!! 

...Or even just getting creative and whipping up the most gourmet leftovers ever...

Muscles and frites in a creamy paramasean sauce
with cherry tomatos and organic greens. Yum! 

I can see what a month traveling home can do for heart and soul.  

Boston: 4th of July

Michigan, Chicago, and Washington, D.C. have offered some of the most memorable 4th of July celebrations I've had. So to try and top the list, I knew this year I'd have to try celebrating in the city of this nation's founding fathers: Boston!

As I was trying to decide what to do for the 4th, I was shocked by how few tips there were online. So, to anyone looking to spice up future festivities (or just interested in how I embraced my ridiculous - and free - props), here are my suggestions for how to spend the holiday.

Step 1: Dress in Red, White, and Blue 

(Please note: white sweater, red-ish shirt, blue eye shadow...and pinstriped white and blue pants!)

Step 2: Got to the Boston Esplanade (also known as the Pops and Fireworks Display)
I may have had to google "esplanade" (which, by the way, is an open space by water for walking) but I could easily have told you that it means a good time! Despite what you may read about camping out by on the Charles River at 9 am, my friend and I arrived around 4:15 pm and staked out grass in the Oval Section, where we had a great view of the concert. We packed very little - an umbrella, towel to sit on, jacket, and sunglasses - and kept these in clear plastic bags and our small purses. We also found the staff handing out clear trash bags (which, for me, was perfect for sitting on to keep my bum somewhat dry). And though it may sound like we packed for every season, we used every single item - and I wished I had a hat - so be prepared!

Step 3: Amuse Yo-Self...
For a show that starts at 8 pm, I was slightly concerned about what to do for the four hour lead-in. But between the quality, old school music played over the speakers, people-watching, and great company, we made the most of our time. We were interviewed by a Boston Globe correspondent, I gave some quotes for a WBZ radio show, and I'm convinced my friend's perfectly coordinated red, white, and blue dress made her picture perfect for a local newspaper. You can bring cards and other activities (my friend brought her class reading...) but if you're with someone like me, you won't even need it!

Step 4: Eat Unhealthily (and kind of enjoy it for a moment...)
For food, we packed a few snacks rather than follow the trend and have a proper picnic. I'm not a burger or hot dog kind of gal, and though I attempted to make fried dough (or what Midwesterners call an "elephant ear") dinner, I severely regretted that lapse in judgement. I also learned that even if you don't read it online, you are unlikely to pass security with an open container. Bring a sealed water bottle (that's clear) or an empty bottle to fill once you're inside.

Step 5: Listen Repeatedly to the Cannons, and if Lucky, Watch our Troops
To kill time waiting, we got to hear the practice cannon firings (truly delightful) and had great seats to watch the Leap Frogs, a U.S. military sky diving special operations team, jump out a plane from really high up, make patterns in the sky, carry a U.S. flag, and descend really fast!

That squiggly line was made by a person...

There are three of them!

And two carrying down the flag...

And then there was one...

Step 6: Enjoy the Boston Pops and Sing your Heart Out
I wasn't sure what to expect for the show itself, but I really enjoyed it! I am a fan of several genres of music so the classical orchestra, gospel singer, jazz singer, quartet, and rock and roll Broadway belter featuring a range of reality singing TV stars and the famous Boston Pops was a blast! I'm a fan of the songs I could sing and dance to (think: Bill Joel and audience sing-a-long to Sweet Caroline).

Step 7: Watch the Fireworks 

My online search said that it would be impossible to watch both the concert and the fireworks, and I actually disagree. Towards the end of the concert, if you start walking along Memorial towards Mass Ave, you can position yourself among the crowd to see the beautiful display.

(Sorry, missed pics on this one, but you'll just have to take my word that it was nice).

Step 8: Make a Break for It...(or wish you would have done it sooner)
There's no harm in looking cute and festive but wear your tennis shoes or Sperry's, as you'll be stuck in the crowd for ages when you try to leave. I spent nearly two hours trying to get home but am happy to report that I made it in one piece.

All in all, a great way to spend the 4th! This nation's founding fathers would have been proud.

Michigan: A Note on Failure

There's something about being home that let's me slow down my pace of life. I can sleep in and dress down almost every day, try cooking all the unique dishes I don't have time to play around with, and - although I spend my days in an academic setting - I can actually think. So it was particularly disheartening when one thought kept coming to mind: 

"I am a failure." 

I know, in my head, that that's an absurd statement:  I'm in my late 20s, half way through my doctorate at a top university, have traveled the world, and on paper, I'm an incredible success story. But over the past few months, this thought has just kept popping into my head. Whether suspecting that my parents health was on the decline and not having the financial or geographical means to help out (side note: they seem to be okay without my assistance)...Or wanting to spend an entire summer with my younger brothers (who love me, but let's face it, are teenage boys)...I kept finding ways that I wasn't living up to my own standard of what I thought I should be. I decided to swap my "academic hat" for my "little mommy apron" back home in Michigan but was devastated when I failed at that. For example, I asked my little brother if he had his passport for his senior class trip to Ireland after the four-hour drive to the airport (he didn't; it was sad for the following 10 hours but eventually, it got resolved)....

And then, underneath it all, was my assessment of my current life.

• Nearly 30 - check. 
• Unemployed - check.
• Single - check. 

I felt no closer to actually achieving my personal and professional goals (and had little progress on my dissertation topic, meaning that graduation is no where around the corner). I wasn't happy with what my everyday life looked like, and I just couldn't think of any other way to explain it than to admit that I failed. Again.

I've done my share of research on "failure" - a seven-letter word that Merriam-Webster defines as "a lack of success" - and so I started by revisiting that. There are tons of cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to try and change the way you think - from writing down your worries to take them out of your head to using the four-question "turn-around" technique (Is it true? Am I sure it's 100% true? How do I feel when it's true? How would I feel if it wasn't true?). I tried implementing the Amen Clinics "brain healthy" diet (and did feel good about losing a few pounds) and worked on getting back into the gym. I spent ample time catching up on all the reality TV I could stomach. All of these came with some short-term benefits but I couldn't shake the feeling that none of these were truly addressing this entirely normal yet debilitating thought. So, I did what I do best: I analyzed the situation and put my thoughts to words. Here's what I came up with:

Lesson #1 - We "fail" because we have the wrong mindset and forget our purpose. 

It seems simple but when you're in the thick of a situation, it's hard to get real perspective! I cringed as I read an article that up to half of doctoral students fail (ahh! really?) because we focus on the wrong things. We focus on grades (check), learning too much (check), perfection (check check), procrastination (sigh...), treating the Ph.D. as school or work (side lesson - apparently its neither), aiming too high or too low (check, check, check)...

Solution: Step back and re-frame your mindset. 

So, when I stepped back, I realized that this five-year commitment I've made is a means to going somewhere. Yes, I've committed to doing high-quality academic research. And yes, I've also made it very clear I aspire to be a leader outside of the academic sphere. Getting my doctorate is NOT my life's purpose so I should stop treating it as such. I don't agree that it has to be a "monastic experience" - that sounds a little extreme - and the truth is, the way I "enjoy" the experience may not be as enthusiastically or all-consuming as others. I was born to be a D.I.V.A. - which, by my definition, is an advocate at heart - so I have to remind myself what I need to do to achieve that.

Lesson #2 - We "fail" because we are too in-tuned with societies views of success. 

Look at one of a dozen articles I've read over the past year, and I'm clearly a mess! I like wine, beer, AND whiskey; my favorite pizzas don't make the list; and - spoiler alert - I'm a black, single woman! On top of that, in my every day life, I'm reminded of the other ways in which I'm  a little different. I value ambition yet hold some tradition close to my heart. I love a good adventure but my family comes first. I have several cultural identities, and I'm proud of that. I clearly don't fit the mold.

Solution: Remember role models who have taken non-traditional paths,
 and prove society wrong. 

Now the glass half-empty view suggests that not fitting the mold is bad but that seems to only be half of the story. A lot of people become successful by following tried and true pathways, but the same "society" that judges the less traditional also applauds those whose efforts breed success. I can think of a dozen individuals whose stories are just inspiring - President Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela - but one of my favorite stories is that of Oprah Winfrey. Long story short, Oprah was born to fail. She was born into poverty and spent her adolescence sexually promiscuous...and sexually abused. She received a scholarship to go to college and didn't finish, instead following her pageant celebrity status and emerging broadcasting career. She is lauded as "the highest-paid performer on television, the richest self-made woman in America, and the richest African-American of the 20th century," but, more impressively, she is unbelievably influential, an honor that she's chosen to use in several circumstances for good. I'm not saying that if Oprah can do it, so can I, but what I am saying is that there are incredibly success stories that show a different sort of pathway. So who's to say that I can't be one of those as well?

Lesson #3 - We "fail" because we somehow think we're destined to.

The number of times I've heard friends rationalize that "maybe, success (or happiness, or you-fill-in-the-blank) is not for me" is kind of outrageous. But then I see all the evidence of a suffering world, and I have to tell you, it hurts. In the last week alone, this, and this, and this, and let's not forget this (hint: racism in America is alive and well) have really made me question the world that I live in. And it's not just here in America! Where I was supposed to spend my summer - in Burundi, Central Africa - is just one of the hundreds of examples that we can find all over the world of how power, privilege, injustice, (and bad luck) hurt some and benefit others. Despite my passion about some of these issues, I find myself wanting to talk about them less and less because it feels like very little is changing, my role in changing them isn't meaningful, and subconsciously, it's too easy to start believing that somehow my reality has to read like that too.

Solution: Remember what Mom used to always say... 

As a child, my mom always told me that I could be anything, do anything, if I put my mind to it. I wholeheartedly believed that (probably until my 21st birthday). I can't go back in time and change the trigger that pushed me into a more cynical reality, but I can remember that no one on this earth gets to determine my destiny. Period. Not the professor who seems to want my academic experience to be a constant struggle, or the agencies that reject my funding applications...I choose to believe that my mom was partly right: I do believe that anything is possible. And in fact, her own continual life journey allows me to see how that can be true. The missing piece for me is to remember that we don't achieve success alone; we also need the right opportunity, or momentum, or guidance...

So what? 

When I think about Lessons 1, 2, and 3, it's clear that "failure" - as I was thinking about it - is a myth. Merriam-Webster also defines it as "a state of inability to perform a normal function" or "a fracturing or giving way under stress" - but if you get up every day and try again, then how can you actually fail?

In grappling with one of my inner-most thoughts this summer, and stepping out of my comfort zone to put these thoughts into words, I realize that believing "I am a failure" is ludicrous. By no means am I a failure, nor can I think of any people around me that would meet that criteria.

As I enter into yet another period of transition, with struggles that may lend themselves to this negative train of thought, I'll try to more swiftly recognize the lessons learned from before and how to quickly address them. This past month has challenged my thoughts and left me believing that:

"I am not a failure. I am just a work in progress." 

?!?: Top 10 Highlights to Celebrate that School's Out for the Summer!

Another semester has come and gone! Hours of stress and anger and excitement have all taken me one year closer to...well...somewhere. And, I trust that someone (hi parents!) missed my periodic updates over the past couple of months.

Well, monthly summer blogging is starting, so stay tuned! But to make up for the adventures you missed following with me, here are my top 10 moments of this past semester:

#10 - Completing my final semester of coursework
Seven courses focused on child protection, program leadership, and research methods - check! My insane course schedule kept me off the map but I am proud to say that I survived. Would I dream of going through an intensive schedule like that again? Probably not. But I can tell you I'm 10 times stronger for it!

Kennedy School Authentic Leadership Development class

#9 - Presenting at the Harvard Child Health Symposium 
Whether or not you're in public health, there's something about promoting early childhood development and preventing violence against children that makes a lot of sense. Mistreating children (think: an abusive caregiver that uses unnecessary physical, emotional, or sexual acts) can have a profound impact on how a person development, especially in the first few years of life, when the human brain is still taking shape. I'm excited that this project, two years in the making, is finally coming to an end so my focus can shift toward adolescent and youth populations in some of the most difficult situations globally.

# 8 - Attending a Nico and Vinz concert (opened by Jason French)
So. Much. Fun. (Truthfully, it's Top 5, but I thought my list could use some non-academic fun!) It was small, intimate setting. I was there with some of my best friends. I was reminded how much I love good music, Africans, and men who can dance! I mean, you tell me, "am I wrong?"

#7 - Retreats
A friend of mine joked that I'm always at a retreat. In truth, I only went on two (ok, three), and they were all wonderful opportunities to get away and put a new perspective on life! Shout out to the Harvard Graduate Student Leadership Institute for including me in the incredible 2015 cohort of student leaders!

#6 - Leading critical dialogue on power, privilege, and professional development 
So, yes, I'm a nerd. We already knew that. But I have to say I felt so excited to have platforms to lead critical dialogue on how parts of our social identities affect the work that we do. Race, as one example, has taken a front-seat in the U.S. following several public incidents of discrimination and brutality in policing. And though it's rarely discussed, this does affect the work that we as professionals in health and development do. Whether through leading a dialogue at the Global Health Corps retreat, coordinating a sub-group in the Dean's diversity and inclusion committee at my institution, or supporting the development of a course on power and privilege, I've been working to truly promote productive dialogue on these issues.

#5 - Site visits to the United Nations 
Anyone who knows me knows how important I think the United Nations system is to making change globally, especially when thinking about the youngest and most vulnerable populations. So what better way to learn more about this system than through visiting!

#4 - Observing the Independent Panel for Ebola Response
It was just Julio Frenk, former Minister of Health for Mexico; Eric Goosby, Ambassador and former  U.S. Global AIDS Coordinator; Muhmamed Ali Pate, former Minister of State for Health in Nigeria; Peter Piot, a well-known leader in the discovery and response to HIV/AIDS and Ebola...twenty or so other notable individuals...and me! How cool!

#3- Getting out of the snow
Amen!

#2 - Traveling
You've seen the posts on Ethiopia, Burundi, and Jamaica....what more is there to say?

#1 - Ticking items off my bucket list
Jamaica...parasailing...and other things that I'll leave a mystery for online readers...This was a semester of action, where I not only talked about the things I've always wanted to do for myself but I did them! So excited for those I got to share those moments with and lucky for the rest of you, the list continues....

Graduation 2015 (only a few years til it's me!)

So with that, I end another semester, and another chapter, in the life of this D.I.V.A.

"The only way to do things is to do things" 

- Pino Bros Ink

(Couldn't have said it better myself)

Jamaica...(need I say more?)

It's April, and the school year is almost (but still not) over. The weather is almost (but still not) warm. So what better way to think "summer" than to look back on Spring Break!

This year, I spent an incredible week in Montego Bay, Jamaica, enjoying all the sunshine, ocean breeze, and fruity cocktails my little hub had to offer.

My trip started with a brand new wardrobe...

Two long flights (and too many hours) later, we left the record snowfall of Boston and arrived at what can only be described as paradise! 

(The beautiful adults-only RIU Palace)

Most days were spent lounging on the beach 

and truly taking a moment to enjoy life. 

But we did sneak away with a Jamaican friend for a few field trips, including Mo Bay's best "jerk" joint. Yum!! 

(Mini Middlebury reunion in Mo Bay)

(Me after my jerk pork)

While I loved swimming in Doctor's Cave, eating dinner with a local family, and laying for hours by the beach each day, one of the highlights was ticking something else off my bucket list...

Parasailing!! 

It also didn't hurt that it was over the clear blue waters of Negril.

We also made a trip to the famous Rick's Cafe in Negril, home to crazy divers and cliff jumpers!

After carefully analyzing my options, I jumped off the second highest ledge! :)

Our last day was filled with amazing food, a few more cocktails, and a little paddleboating too! 

It may only have been a month ago, but Jamaica, I truly miss you! 

Boston: Commemorating Black History Month

February has officially come and gone, and with it went the sliver of the year that the U.S. dedicates to remembering the history of its Black populations.

Originating from Carter G. Woodson's Negro History Week in 1926, Black History Month - also known as National African American History Month - has become a time to to remember the achievements, trials, and tribulations of Black Americans since 1976. Many of these occasions are less celebrated in mainstream discussions and yet they've inevitably had a huge impact on the U.S. as we know it today.

There are so many achievements and fun facts to highlight. Whether as historical figures in the pursuit of human rights, inventors and scientists, literary and media geniuses, or in contemporary music and sport, the contributions of Black Americans are countless.

A few fun facts worth highlighting include:

• February was selected for Black History Month because of the birthdays of Abraham Lincoln and Fredrick Douglass. 
• Invention of the traffic light (Garret A. Morgan in 1923, before selling it to General Electric)
• Invention of the ice scream scoop (Alfred A. Cralle)
• Creating "Potato Chips, " formally known as  "Saratoga Chips" (George "Speck" Crum)
• Perfecting the light bulb (Lewis Latimer, assistant to Alexandar Graham Bell - inventor of the telephone - patented the "incandescent electric lightbulb with carbon filament")

As I get older, I seem to find less focus on this important part of American, of World, history. There's no mandate for my university to hold any sort of commemoration, or even send an email documenting the month, which is interesting especially given Woodson's own ties to Harvard. The dialogue of #BlackLivesMatter keeps getting conflated with #AllLivesMatter, which is true but detracts attention away from a part of the population that continues to face unchallenged issues of injustice. Calls for a White History Month even seem to rise to the surface...

To acknowledge Black History Month this year, I did a few things. I bought (and read) a book by a Black author, and a friend, called "The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood." I returned to my undergraduate research on structural racism, Critical Race Theory, and public health to explore disparate health access and outcomes by racial/ethnic group. And, I sang "Lift Every Voice and Sing," the Black National Anthem, at a small celebration organized by two students at my school this year.

Note: In case you're wondering, Black History Month isn't the only heritage month recognized in the U.S. Irish-American, Jewish American, Hispanic, Native American, Puerto Rican, and Gay and Lesbian Pride Months also exist. 

Check out: 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/28/black-inventions_n_4877195.html
http://atlantablackstar.com/2013/10/23/100-black-inventions-over-the-last-100-years-you-may-not-know-part-1/
http://history1900s.about.com/od/people/tp/famousafricanamericans.htm